Why is it we always wish we could be something we are not? Advertising is based on this simple fact. If you were richer, better looking, smarter, thinner, had better dishes. If you were all those things you would be a better person. Not true!!!
I too fall into this, I wish I could be... for me it is more about people. Things I admire. I have several friends or acquaintances who I really look up to and love. For me it is not the wanting of the material. I don't want a bigger house, a nicer car or better clothes. I'm not interested in tons of money (although that might be nice), a high powered job in a great office. For me it is the inside stuff. Some of my friends are so beautiful I sit back and think, why not me? Then I take a second look and say but that is me. If we recognize the light in others, the kindness, the love, the good stuff then that light we recognize must be in us too? If like attracts like, then those people that we befriend who are beautiful in and out must be like us too right? Then if we really start to believe it instead of wanting to be like them we can really learn to love ourselves.
I think we've put such a bad name on loving ourselves. Even myself. I have often started a sentence with - "I don't mean to blow my own horn but..." Why should pride sound like you are blowing your own horn? If there is something about yourself that you are proud of, something that you believe in why is that sometimes seen as conceit? If you say to a room full of your peers yes I know I'm good at this, the judgment is that you are full of yourself. Why? In a world where so many people wish they could be... when they are whatever it is, if they share it, they are often made to feel shame. Shame for pride? It just doesn't make sense. As long as your pride is humble it is OK but if your pride is gushing then not so much. The humble pride comes with an apology or you will be judged.
I have several friends who are amazing at what they do. One in particular. I know because I have been a client of hers. She goes above and beyond and still never feels like what she does is enough. She is amazing and I've told her over and over. She falls into that category of always wanting to be better, never feeling like it is enough. She is beautiful, smart, funny and extremely talented. What makes me sad is that she is not alone. There are so many people out there just like this. What make people wish they could be... Something happens early in our life where we are told we aren't good enough and this sticks. But why? No matter how many people tell you that you are amazing and beautiful it just never feels true. Even people who are told over and over still wish they could be...
If we can look into our hearts and start to love who we already are. If we can look at our successes and the things we are good at. If we can accept all the great things that we are. Would be be able to stop wishing we could be something else? Is this mind set so ingrained that we are unable to accept who we already are? Can we start standing up in front of our peers and say we are amazing at something without apologizing for it? Maybe with this start we can look at people and say yes, she/he is smart, funny, beautiful and all those things. Notice it and then notice those amazing qualities in yourself. Recognizing the light in others is the same light in you.
Namaste (the light within me recognizes the light within you),
Jennifer is an RMT, long time yoga practitioner and teacher. Follow her musings as an RMT, yoga teacher, prenatal educator and mother of three.