What to do...

I blogged earlier about my little brother commenting on my trip to Thailand and asking if I was going to "find myself".  Since that post and maybe even before I have been thinking a lot about what I am going to do when I grow up.  I feel as if in my early 20's I had the "grown up" job.  I worked really hard, had long hours and made a ton of cash.  I was single, or dating, had my one bedroom condo and a small car.  My responsibilities included getting up and to work on time, paying my bills and meeting friends for dinner.

Life changed pretty quickly.  I met my now husband, a few months later I was happily pregnant, we bought a house and were planning a wedding.  My perspective on my great job changed.  I no longer wanted to be away from my family.  I wanted to be home with my baby and babies if we were to be blessed with more.  I went back to work just in time to get pregnant again and then I quit my traditional job.

Home day care would be my next and current career move.  One that I have returned to.  Over the past few weeks I have been wondering if this is what I really should be doing.  It is a really tricky job.  On the one hand I love the kids.  I have two wonderful little boys that I care for and I can honestly say that I love them.  They have become like my own children.  I would be heartbroken if they had to leave.  On the other hand it is a very physically demanding job.  I work long hours with no break.  When my day is over and the children have gone home I am cleaning from the day that just passed and getting ready for the next one.  This sometimes leaves me drained and not always able to care for my own children in the way I would like.  I am sometimes left in pain from a car accident almost two years ago and this leaves me saddened.  I am so lucky that I have two really great families, we have open communication and they are all really nice people.  Having done this before this is truly half the "battle" so to speak.

My main reason for home day care is so that I can be home for my own children and also make a little bit of money.  The alternative would be for me to go out and work and have to put my children in care.  Something none of us want.  My dilemma is that when my three children are in school I'm not sure I want to  be doing his anymore, but what should I do.

Over these last few weeks I have been "trying on" different careers.  I think of a job and look it up on the internet.  Find out if I need education, how much it will cost and how long it will take.  What I need to get started.  What the hours will be and what kind of income I can make.  I need to be able to take my children to school and be home when they get home.  I also don't need to make a lot of money and from what I am drawn to I think alternative care or alternative type of work is what I would like.  I am already a yoga teacher so if I could do something along with that I think I would be great.  I guess you would say I am on a journey of self discovery.  Teaching 3 - 4 yoga classes a day or mixing it with fitness sounds great but can I handle that physically - I don't know?

I am a planner so I know that I have time to figure it out.  I want to be set up and ready when that time comes.  Maybe I will leave it to the universe and the universe will figure it out for me?  I could teach yoga full time or maybe become a photographer or maybe I could tell fortunes...  whatever it is I am sure I will love it and I will be good at it.  I welcome ideas from anyone.  Tell me what you do and maybe I could "try that one" for a day or so.

Namaste,
Jenni