Ha - made you look. I am most definately not having another baby. Well not in the literal sense. I have been thinking lately though that if I had of decided to have another child I would probably be embracing new motherhood again around this time. Instead I am creating something physical and it is taking time.
My studio and growth of a new expanded business has become like a new baby for me. I have created a business plan with a full 5 years for growth. It did remind me of the fantasies of being pregnant and wondering what each year might bring. The what will it look like, what will it feel like, will I be good at it. Many of the same fears that I experienced in anticipation of becoming a parent are the same things I am feeling as I prepare the studio.
The preparation of the room has been ongoing and one wonderful surprise after another. The furniture moved out, some given away some sold, some donated to charity. What an amazing feeling of cleansing that was. An amazing experience in non-attachment to things I have owned for however long. I practiced with joy as I cleared and it felt great. The next phase of the project was to peel off the baseboards. If this was not smooth I would have had to purchase new ones. The first one I pried off so easily and the other 15 sections all came off like butter. There were a few sections that needed some extra prying and a little more of my sweat but it was all so worth it. The next task now that the baseboards were off was to pull up the carpet. Who knows how long the carpet was there or what kind of shape the floors were underneath. I had budgeted a possible refinishing of the floors if needed. Well what a surprise, it felt like Christmas as I peeled back a section of the carpet. The floor beneath has been basically un-touched and they are perfect. The nails and staples from the carpeting and the under padding need to be removed but most of that will be covered up when I re-install the baseboards.
My next job will be to pain the space. This most of all reminds me of preparing to give birth. Will pregnant with each of my three children I have had to prepare a room. This is a task that I love and take great pride in. I love testing different paint colours on the wall. Seeing how they look in the day and at night. Finally falling in love with the perfect colour. I can't wait until I start putting the paint on the walls. I find painting therapeutic. The rise and fall of the roller, the brush skimming along the edges and of course following my breath as I work. Stepping back when it's all done and being proud of the great job you've just done. After that a door needs to be installed. That separation of momma and baby from the outside world. I envision spending plenty of time alone in my new space, away from anyone else, quiet, falling in love.
Once the preparation is done and my space is ready I will finally be able to fully give birth to my project. Starting slowly with classes on the week-ends and then moving to classes in the evening and one day classes during the day. Then hopefully in a few years a rented space of my own where this process can start all over again...
I hope to see you when she is born so I can introduce you to my new baby... we'll call her young4ever.
Jennifer is an RMT, long time yoga practitioner and teacher. Follow her musings as an RMT, yoga teacher, prenatal educator and mother of three.