I am heading to Koh Sumai, Thailand in 4 days and am very excited. I sadly received a message from my travel companion this morning telling me that she in unable to join me. Her mother who has been sick for some time needs her and if I were in her shoes I would do exactly the same thing. My heart goes out to her and her mother. Honestly I even thought of canceling my trip and meeting her in Vancouver instead. This I think would be overstepping and the loss of potentially a once in a life time opportunity for me.
I have never traveled this far before. I have never traveled this far alone before. The amount of work it took to make this happen seemed larger than life. I have three children, run a home day care and teach 2 yoga classes a week. I needed to find care for all three of my children, places for my day care children and subs for my classes. Not to mention the convincing it took for my husband to agree to me spending the money and taking the 10 days away from our family and our life. He is amazing for agreeing to it. I am lucky to have such a great partner.
My tickets have been purchased, my hotels booked and even my bags packed (I'm a bit of a planner). My friend telling me she couldn't make it threw me for a loop and I did think about canceling myself. But no, I may never have all my ducks enough in a row again to make this happen. I think in a way I was looking at her as a bit of a security blanket. She's been there before and knows her way around, I wouldn't have to do any ground breaking work. I was also a bit afraid of traveling alone. I did move to BC many years ago but I was 21 and had no responsibilities. I've never left my three kids or my husband for this long either, but I think I will get over that. Now going alone I will make all my own decisions about things I might want to do or not do. I will have no one to compromise with. My life currently with my family is full of compromise. From what I eat during the day to where we go and how we spend out money (or not spend it). This trip will be all about me. All about what I want and what I don't want. I can eat or not eat, I can go out or stay in and I don't need to check in with anyone but me. Now that's exciting. Do I need to travel half way around the world in order to do this. Probably not but since the arrangements are made I might as well.
I would still welcome and prefer to be there with my friend. We have not seen each other in over three years and I do miss her. I know she needs to be with her mom, her mom is a lovely woman. We will see each other soon I know! For now I look forward to my trip and all that it will have to offer. Yoga included I am even more positive.
Jennifer is an RMT, long time yoga practitioner and teacher. Follow her musings as an RMT, yoga teacher, prenatal educator and mother of three.